Straight to the point while it's on my heart:
There was a time in my life when I wanted so badly what I considered the "BIG things". I wanted to be a famous singer with all the fame and glory that comes along with it; I wanted to get married and have children; I even used to say I wanted to be a mother to the whole world. Now I know that I wanted those big things in the way that I did because there were actually smaller things in my life screaming for HELP and attention. I wanted those things for the wrong reasons. From wanting to be truly loved by someone, wanting to be accepted by others, and wanting to feel needed by others is everything that drove me to want those things mentioned above. Definitely not saying that those were not good things to want. I'm speaking of the heart behind the want. The intent or motivation of the want.
As life happened to me, I began to realize that those BIG things were really small things, and those small things were actually the big things I needed to desire in the first place. Those small things are: self-love, responsibility, integrity, good character, trustworthiness, honesty, respect, and fairness. When these things are tended to with love and care they can bring life to your soul and give you personal power. They will allow for a better experience when those so-called big things show up.
My goal right now is to show myself some kindness by planting the seeds of all those small things mentioned, inside my heart and mind. I am tending to them carefully, tenderly and with lots of love for myself. I would like to produce a crop of "soul food" that will nourish me from the inside out. So if I become those things that I wanted so bad (Singer, etc.), the LIGHT will shine from what's on the inside of me and not from that thing I became.
Good night.
Her
